Lap of God

A couple of years ago I was at my sister's house when her youngest son, 3 at the time, began having a meltdown. Nothing would console him and he was unable to articulate what was wrong, so on he cried. My sister picked him up, sat him on her lap and cradled him in her arms. As she held him, she whispered constantly in his ear that he was loved by his mom, dad and Father God. She prayed over him too and kept repeating how loved he was. He did eventually calm down and went on to play.

Back at my home later that evening the scene of being held, rocked, prayed over and being told repeatedly about being loved kept repeating in my mind. My thoughts went to how it would feel to crawl up into my Heavenly Father's lap and have Him hold me as I cried. To have God rock me in His arms, pray for me and tell me repeatedly how much I'm loved...........there are days when I long for nothing more! To have the One who created me and knows me better than I know myself hold me and let me cry all the fears and pain out on His shoulder, all the while He's telling me how much I'm loved by Him...........there are days when I long for nothing more! There would be no condemnation for me being "silly" or "overreacting." It would be acceptance, peace and love only.

Even as an adult I long to feel safe around someone where I can have the opportunity to just weep, cry, wail and it be o.k. Usually such behavior is accompanied with a "pep talk" or lecture. But sometimes you just want to be heard, share the pain and the other person say, "thank you for sharing." I'm not always wanting someone to "fix" what is wrong, sometimes I just want to be heard and it be o.k. to feel the way I feel.

My goal is to remember the scene in my sister's house when the cries of a desperate individual were meet with prayer and constant reminders of the love others possessed for them so I can replicate it should someone ever need to express that kind of release in my presence. I want to remember what I need from others, so I can maybe be the safe place for someone else.

The very, very good news is that one day I will crawl up into my Father's lap and He will tell me how much I'm loved and the tears will be tears of great joy! I just have to keep walking toward Jesus and my longing will come true!